Random Thoughts.10.11.:Damn.Network.TV:.

ok. THIS IS THE DISCLAIMER FOR THIS POST:recently my brain has been COMPOUNDED with wayyy too many thoughts that go allll over the place so please if your reading this bear with me its really scatter brained but this is for me to clear my head (please refer to my blogs rules if ur upset -Kanye Shrug-) #justsayin -

you ever think that sometimes seeing things on tv is like tooooo much like your life in certain aspects that you'd rather not touch on that you don't watch?? (Raising my own hand) oh.well I guess I'm the only one (highly doubtful but whatever) but I see certain things on tv it takes me to a very familiar certain place mentally 9 times outta 10. exes getting back together, people finding new l-ve, finding that new l-ve but realizing that they want that ol thing back, none of which is good for my subconscious mental state, honestly. All that stuff just touches home with me in a lot of different ways.
Lemme try and explain.
ok. So watched the finale of Entourage, currently my fave show on tv, I guess its not anymore b/c its over but whatever, back to the point, on the finale, E and Sloan (one of the baddest white chicks in the game, period, she might get a post at a later date, but ok back on topic again smh) go out on a date and E basically makes it up in his mind that he wants her, nobody else in this world, ever, but her, proposes and the whole nine. Everything works out too, but real talk, E took a helluva chance with all this, it almost blew up in his face but it didn't aside from everything before their convo at the place they went to go eat which was an #EPICfail. But it just was wild the places it took me seeing that happen. I feel like LOTS of people in this life have a "Sloan" somewhere in their past. You know that one where you saw that something, scratch that, everything about her was different , but because ur a guy and we're stupid, we let her get away, whatever the circumstancesand/or the stipulations were, she got away, period. You don't obsess about her everyday but subtle reminders of her, take.you.places.period. To be honest that episode just put the what ifs in my head like crazy. I hate being in that place because thinking about it you know where you were and why you were like that when you two were together. sh*t in lots of instances even when you weren't together or had other friends but somewhere, in the back of your mind, you knew that this could happen again. And to be REAL honest, you wouldn't mind it either just when you both were at another place in life. Yea, Entourage took me there, not gonna lie. And has had me on that damn Sloan train since I saw it no lie.

- you ever see the exact same thing as someone and get a completely different interpretation about what you just saw? Yea, happened with Entourage too. I saw that and thought of my ex, not you. Sorry ok?

-as far as these relationships and females in my life go. Nothing tooooo new right now. Maybe my outlook is what messes me up but i gotta few possibles, no sure books (i look at girls i talk to like a spades hand sometimes lol -shrugs-) But its getting cold out, definately about that time. I would l-ve to meet someone who intrigued me to a point that I wanna really get to know them, but I know what I want now at least (baby steps man, baby steps) which is a step in the right direction. You know I'm allllllll about progress so I'm making it.

-this is definately the longest I've gone without having a late night convo partner in a looooong time. seriously. Its really been a while, but I know that single was and is good for me and where I am but I know what I want. I just need someone who keeps me intrigued and makes my heart smile, haven't felt like that in a while and truthfully I miss it.

-ok I already gave it to you about Entourage but for as great of a show as The Game is, I will NOT torture myself by watching it. Toooooo many parrellels so and it shows the end of something that I'm not to the end of, call it a sense of false hope, call it unrealistic expectations, whatever you call it, I'm not watching that show. period.

okay -deep exhale- I got all that out, definately a good thing.

Peace & L-ve

B